Ok...ten things about myself....


Since I no longer drink, let's start with a drunk story.

While walking home with a friend, very drunk, from a party, we came upon a construction sight.
My idiot friend, now dead, threw a brick through the window of one of the frontloaders.
As we ran away, being chased by construction security, I shit my pants.

Yep......now...think I would MAKE a thing like that UP?

I once badly injured my foot because as I was walking home drunk with my girlfriend, I saw a cast iron deer, which I claimed "felt like lying down for a rest"
That's right....I pulled the heavy deer down and it fell on my own damn foot.
I still have pain in that foot to this day.


I once was at a friends house, and he had just finished selling the rest of his purple microdot lsd tabs, and there was nothing left but broken pills, and dust.
He asked me if I wanted it, and I said "Hell ya" and gobbled it greedily up.
I had a bad trip like I've never had before.
I thought there were lights in the willow and that it was reaching down to get me, the song "come sail away" was trying to make me insane, I opened the car door on my friends driveway and puked.
As I puked I was SURE I could see my puke eating into the driveway.
This story could go on forever but that's where I'll end it.
The bad trip was HOURS long.

I once helped the police aprehend a car theif who had just smashed his stolen car.
He was running through the backyards.
I ran down the street saying "I can SEE you", with the police running behind me, and I directed them to the places to catch him.
They thanked me, quite a few of them. Funny how times change.
The next day, I found the suspect's spoon in my backyard.
He was a junkie.

You know what?
Four stories is enough for now...
This is fucking hard.
I hate thinking about my horrible past.